The New Year is almost upon us! And that means a birthday celebration. This year is Bug's 12th birthday. We think she's having a skating party. Girl Drama! But usually her birthday means taking the tree down ahead of time so that Christmas is away and the focus is solely on her. But this year the holiday plans have been fraught with ...complications from both exes.
     DH and I got married at the end of the summer and even before that his ex has been--challenging! There is so much drama and escalation it drives me crazy. They take a small ember and pour gas on it. There is sooo much DISTRUST on both of their parts that when it comes to what's best for their child the vision gets clouded. What eats at me the most is the inability to stop and ask what is best for their child and then DO that. Because of the level of distrust the ex thinks I'm trying to be her mommy. She has a mommy and I'm NOT it. I KNOW that. I'm an extra adult in their child's life who is trying to help her grow into a great adult. She's 3-- so there is  a lot of growing yet to do. So on some level I understand where Miss Ex is coming from about the FB pictures but at the same time her father moved into my house and she spends every other weekend with us so pictures on FB is the show my friends the fun we have together. But that isn't going to happen anymore. I'm done with the silly BS from her and the accusations of things which aren't true. Overall it is her immaturity that thinks I am trying to replace her in her daughters life. As a mom, I would NEVER try to do that and even if I tried it would never happen. My goal is at some point for her to realize that she can't edit me out of her daughters life as long as I am married to her father. The serenity prayer reminds me that people need to learn the difference between the things they CAN change and things they can't.

Occasionally I need an outlet. Somewhere to go to vent, moan and groan and be ok with that action. I am creative but overwhelm myself with project half plans, starts and no finishes, good intentions and let downs. Part of the start of this blog was to express my creative side. Then I started teaching full time... and time flies. I lost my password, account info and then in a recent burst of crazed brain activity I remembered I shoved it into my day planner- the one I never use b/c I use my wall calendar at school. But some recent changes in my life have created a need to have a diary of sorts. I need somewhere just to say things that are either so on my mind that they are disabling me from working through other things or that the same thoughts are just simply not nice and I like to be thought of as nice. So this space is mine. I don't aim to be politically correct, polite, happy or any other thing. Some thoughts may come to me and send me off the map of thinking but if I don't get these thoughts out of my head... ITS GETTING JAMMED UP- BRAIN JAM!. After all it is called RANDOM HEATHER for  a reason!
As part of the New Year I have some tentative ideas in my head of some changes I NEED/wish to have in my life and I need somewhere to document those ideas in order to hold myself accountable. SO here it is. I'm going to try to consistently blog. Yep- Either about my job, my family, and my creative outlets/inlets.